Abuela, Don't Forget Me

Abuela, Don’t Forget Me (2022) is a memoir-in-verse written by author, poet, and comic book illustrator Rex Ogle about the profound influence his Abuela had on his life. The text follows Ogle from early childhood through his high school graduation, tracing the ways in which his Abuela was a supportive and stable force in a childhood otherwise marked by abuse at the hands of his mother and stepfather. The book was a finalist for the 2023 YALSA Excellent in Young Adult Nonfiction Award.

This guide uses the 2022 Norton Young Readers eBook edition.

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of physical abuse, child abuse, anti-LGBTQ+ bias, drug use, and racism (including slurs).

Summary

Abuela, Don’t Forget Me contains seven parts comprised of individual poems. In the Foreword, present-day Ogle reveals that Abuela is developing dementia. Ogle worries that she may one day forget him, too. He uses poetry and writing to help preserve their shared history and his gratitude toward her for all that she did to support him.

Part 1: “Abuela’s House” explains Ogle’s early childhood and his strong connection to Abuela. Although Ogle lives primarily with his mother, he finds his sense of home at Abuela’s house at 1214 South Jackson Drive in Abilene, Texas. He describes Abuela’s house and the love from her. Ogle explains that his mother was 20 when he was born and that his father was a member of the Air Force. Abuela and Mom have a complicated relationship, with Mom resenting Abuela’s Mexican heritage while relying on Abuela to help raise Ogle. Various poems illustrate the closeness between Ogle and Abuela. Abuela also plays an active role in Ogle’s education by bringing him to the library, which teaches Ogle the power of language and stories.

In Part 2: “To and From,” The relationship between Abuela and Mom continues to deteriorate, especially after Ogle’s father files for divorce. Mom’s new boyfriend, Sam, brings a new level of instability to Ogle’s life when they move in with him. Sam is physically abusive toward both Mom and Ogle and teases Ogle as “effeminate.”

Two teenagers call Ogle a series of slurs that refer to people of Mexican heritage. Ogle’s self-esteem is damaged; he begins to view his biracial identity as something inherently wrong with him. He witnesses instances of racism against Abuela, too. Ogle’s own internalized racism causes him to begin resenting Abuela’s Mexican heritage: Her accent begins to bother him, and he worries about others perceiving him as different through his association with her. Despite these challenges, Abuela remains a steadfast source of support and stability for Ogle. She encourages him to consider college, something that Ogle would otherwise never envision for himself.

Mom gives birth to a new baby, Ford. Ogle’s schooling and life are continually interrupted as Mom and Sam embark on a series of impulsive moves, struggling to find employment. Each time they move, Ogle is the one to place a collect call to Abuela, who is relieved to hear from him but helpless to do anything to help.

In Part 3: “Gifts and Fists,” Ogle and his family once more live within driving distance from Abuela, who tries to help improve their material living conditions. Ogle learns that Abuela works eight jobs so that she has money to bring groceries. Ogle pushes his mother to accept Abuela’s help, but his mother becomes more violent in response. Abuela continues to encourage Ogle’s education and aspirations. She congratulates him on his grades while his mother degrades them, and secretly begins paying him for each A he earns in school. Abuela buys Ogle a journal, a symbolic gesture that gives Ogle his voice and shows him that his ideas matter.

Part 4: “An Education” focuses on Ogle’s educational pursuits and the achievements he makes with Abuela’s support. Despite Ogle’s intelligence and performance in school, he continually gets into physical altercations. The principal implores him to achieve his potential, but Ogle does not believe he will make it to graduation. Ogle is bullied over his sexual orientation and race, which causes him to project his own insecurities onto Abuela, not wanting her to visit them in Grapevine because he does not want to be seen out in public with her by other students.

Abuela encourages Ogle each time he receives a report card, reminding him that he should not give up the dream of going to college. By junior year, Ogle is taking all AP and honors classes, promising himself that he will earn straight A’s and stop fighting. Abuela encourages him to apply to a program called Junior Scholars at Abilene Christian University, which would give Ogle the opportunity to attend ACU for the summer and earn a college credit. He applies and wins a full scholarship.

The program is a turning point in Ogle’s life. For the first time, he feels a surge of hope that he can achieve his goals. After Ogle’s success in the program, Abuela tells him about another program: Local Scholars, which awards a full-ride scholarship to ACU for students who graduate from a local Abilene high school.

In Part 5: “Senior Year,” Ogle settles into his new life at Abuela’s. She offers to help him buy a car and he begins working at a restaurant after school to make his monthly payments. He works hard at both school and his job to make Abuela proud, thinking of how hard she has worked his entire life. When he arrives home from school one day, his Mom and Sam are there. They tackle him, physically hurting him and accusing him of taking drugs. Abuela admits that she called them after finding Ogle’s friend’s marijuana in Ogle’s room. The entire visit from Mom and Sam is a ruse to steal Ogle’s new car, claiming that he is not responsible enough to have it when in reality Mom’s car is broken. This causes a rift between Abuela and Ogle, who blames Abuela for calling Mom in the first place.

Ogle continues to feel estranged from Abuela. He spends more time with his friends and avoids her until they finally reconcile. Ogle learns that he has been accepted into the Local Scholars program, earning a full scholarship to Abilene Christian University. He and Abuela hug each other.

As graduation approaches, Ogle’s father calls to tell him that he will not attend his graduation but offers to host Ogle at his home in Alabama for the summer. At Ogle’s graduation lunch, Mom announces that she, Ford, and Sam are moving to Abilene to be closer to Ogle. Ogle, horrified, yells at his mother and she punches him in the face. After his graduation ceremony, Ogle thanks Abuela for everything she has done for him.

Part 6: “There and Back Again” focuses on Ogle’s visit to his father, which is not what he imagined: His father is cold and unwelcoming. Ogle works three jobs to try and save money for college. He befriends a co-worker, Tom. Tom and Ogle kiss, affirming for Ogle that he is bisexual. He wants to tell Abuela but fears that her Christian faith will cause her to reject him. Instead, he tells his stepsister, who reveals Ogle’s secret to his father. Disgusted, Ogle’s father gives him two options: Pretend to not be who he is, or leave. Ogle decides to leave, not calling Abuela for help.

Ogle decides to go to New Orleans, where he is unhoused and has to do extreme things to survive. After three months, he contemplates dying by suicide by jumping off a bridge. In desperation, he calls Abuela, who begs him to come home. Abuela sends him money and the next day Ogle returns to her house in Abilene. Abuela welcomes him without question, telling him that he is safe now. Abuela tells him that Mom and Sam moved into the house across the street, but that Sam eventually left Mom. Soon afterward, Mom packed Ford up into Ogle’s car and drove off to unknown parts. Ogle, now 18, realizes that his story is not over.

The concluding part, Part 7: “Now,” includes only one poem titled “te amo siempre.” Decades have passed and Ogle still speaks to Abuela often. While she does not remember all the scenes from his childhood, she always tells him “te amo” (“I love you”) when they hang up. He always responds with “te amo siempre” (“I love you forever”), knowing that it would be impossible for her to love him more than he loves her.